don't plan your losses...don't count them, either.

when you picture it or imagine it, it's never how it really is. oddly enough, in times like these, the rawness of your thoughts become, well, much more intense and planned out than the reality itself. it's not just sadness and tears. it's this emotion that builds in you, a fire that has been restarted by some poor boy scout who thought he knew what to do the first time when he prepped himself for the badge, but when the real time came, things just didn't go as….planned. there was a fault somewhere, an event or action that hiccuped, and before you know it your anger is taking over, your resentment is lit, and tears turn in to fears of losing everything simply at the news of losing…something.