when reality slinks into your bed in the early morning, waking you up from a dream almost too surreal, that may very well be the best time to revel in what is real and stray from what is superficial. there are undoubtedly times where i wish that i could sleep, let the thoughts in my mind create a sordid affair that i can only dream of, but when it comes to the morning, where those thoughts are pushed to the back of my mind once again, i'm content--more than content--with letting reality run its course. i'm not sure i was ever a proponent of this until recently. i was always the dreamer, letting hope drown my fears, soaking away every last shred of what was too real and too painful to endure.now, however, it feels as though there is less of a battle to life, and the facade is no more than a smokescreen that evaporates before too long. much of this fear from before came from stress; the idea of thinking too much, over analyzing the next move in fear that somewhere along the way, i'd be bound to hit a false step and sink into the abyss that i could never pull myself away from. when that stress vacates your emotions, you're left with the calm after the storm. the whirlwind of life, the swirl of colors moving around you when you feel as though your feet are planted in one scared, isolated spot, all of it falls to the wayside and you're left with nothing...nothing but what should remain.
life isn't as hard as we imagine. it's more of a game than a battle, and it's not so much about winning as is about reinventing. so why, then, should we try and dream away the life sitting in front of us when the reality looks just as pleasant when staring us straight in the face, in the early morning, when bodies are still warm and too relaxed to fight a fight that's only ugly in our nightmares. you throw up the white flag and do anything but fall back asleep.
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